Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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