I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
