i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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