so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
