SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
