is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
