i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
