two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
