I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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