I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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