Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
