I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
