Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
