Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
