i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
