Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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