you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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