So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
