you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
