I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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