i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
