Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
