my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
