I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
