i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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