She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we should paint friendship bongs
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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