Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
