I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
bring money and cleavage
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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