don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
