We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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