and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
