Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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