So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
