Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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