Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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