He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
