We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
