dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
