if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
