hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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