I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
