At least make sure they are 18
Why
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
