Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
