Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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