'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
