is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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