I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this boner is exhausting
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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