she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
