I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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