marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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