If that was your dad, he is hot
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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